Aunty Matt Kaho..

My love hate relationship for all the Aunty's I ever came across is directly proportional to my age. And its rate of growth is much higher than the rate at which their waistline grows. They have the most unsophisticated sense of humor and the loudest laugh you ever heard of. Their taste for lip colors remains unmatched (dark red is the color of week, season, year, and forever), all their efforts to lose weight in vain, and their gossip is so limited (just their husband, husband's colleague, kids, their friends, neighborhood, city, country, even Obama is not spared when he kisses his wife in public!) I always wondered, that these bunch of women would walk everyday without fail but not lose weight. I felt sorry for them. I decided to speak to them. One breezy evening in Bangalore, I waited for them to finish their daily regime. They finished 10 rounds walking on the jogging track. "Hello Aunty, how are you?", I walked up. "Ohh look who is here", they said in chorus. "Want to come over, we are going for a cup of tea at Balaji", a close friend of my mother invited me. I took the opportunity, considering I would be able to speak to them at peace. After 45 minutes of non-stop chatter and a hot "benne" dosa each and milky coffee with extra 'sugar free', their calorie count was back, if not more before they left homes for their daily exercise. I had obviously not discussed their weight. They discussed my marriage, career, my eyebrows, my vital stats and also ways to attract (read: phaanso) men. Grass is always greener on the other side", just like each aunty's son was worse than the other, her husband more careless and mother-in-law gave more tortures than the others. It is infectious. My mother is much stricter than others! They are blessed with the inane ability to nag me for marriage each time; each of them will always have a nephew in US, looking for a bride exactly like me. I am impressed how on every occasion they tell me about a new guy, with whom I will be super happy and rich. You can never reason them, and certainly not argue. They will go to the extent to say, that the guy is good at cooking and laundry, but not leave you till you agree to meet him, or at least add him on Facebook. (Some marketing skills here). But, there is something about them which is warm and so affectionate. They are forever there for a warm hug when you are tired of your parents' lectures. They make sure you eat when Mumma is away, design dresses better than expensive boutiques and give the best skin care tips. They are women who made their husband and kids their universe since decades. They were always busy packing lunch and coordinating tuition classes. Now, when the kids have grown wings to fly, they have more time and less to do. A phone call to her from me, makes the entire "park gang" talk about it for a week. They are an integral part of an Indian household, and certainly an extended family. Only if they would be little subtly with colors and jokes. Will the aunty clan dissolve with time? I hope not, and am sure will not. We will always have women leaving at the helm of their careers, to take care of kids. And join the park gang. To all my auntys out there, please put on those expensive reading glasses. This one is truly for you.
PS: I will not add anymore nephews on FB and not showing cleavage. :-) :-)